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bruinsstrong:

This story keeps on getting better and better

bruinsstrong:

This story keeps on getting better and better

soras-majestic-butt:

do you ever catch yourself thinking of something so weird and fucked up that you have to stop mid-thought and your face is

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furbearingbrick:

vampirequeeneffeffia:

rita-haxx:

Fucking Christ

These are technically still facts.

buzzkill facts totally need to be a thing

bryannotbrian:

jokkes:

Spiderman crashes Xmen set.

this needs to happen more often

koyaniyako:

March 7, 2014 

koyaniyako:

March 7, 2014 

trigger-happy-buttmunch:

so there’s a pigeon i used to pass by in my old neighborhood all the time and he was really fat because people would just toss him food and literally he sat in the middle of the sidewalk and people would just step over him, he wouldn’t even flinch. seriously you could sit down next to him and just feed him and he would be chill.
he was there every day and all us locals would affectionately refer to him as ‘lard-ass’

trigger-happy-buttmunch:

so there’s a pigeon i used to pass by in my old neighborhood all the time and he was really fat because people would just toss him food and literally he sat in the middle of the sidewalk and people would just step over him, he wouldn’t even flinch. seriously you could sit down next to him and just feed him and he would be chill.

he was there every day and all us locals would affectionately refer to him as ‘lard-ass’

avianawareness:

yeffyaboyuice:

irregular-equinox:

My bird is dancing to smash mouth it was great

NEVER LET THIS DIE

Fids LOVE music.

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

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  • start a boy band:

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  • spot some choice booty:

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  • break into song:

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  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

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  • attend a metal show:

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  • listen to some sick jams:

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  • discover zombieism:

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  • sample some tasty snacks:

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  • watch someone get burned bad:

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  • find something you really like:

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  • find something you really, really like:

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  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

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  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

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theconsultingrenegade:

bestquius:

bestquius:

There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.

I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele

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listoflifehacks:

If you like this list of life hacks, follow ListOfLifeHacks for more like it!

neongenesisevangaylion:

spongebob has been so engraved into my mind that when i’m on my deathbed and i’m classified as comatose and braindead my heartrate will flatline i’ll mumble and everyone will come close to me to hear my miracle induced last words and i’ll just say ‘no this is patrick’ because these references are so pressed into my biological functions that the final spastic nerve impulses surging through my body can trigger them 

pasilaly:

the urban dictionary definition of mens rights activists is so spot on it hurts-

‘a bunch of whiny pedantic morons that think there is some vast illuminati feminist conspiracy while seemingly ignoring the fact that their own gender runs and ruins the majority of the world’